Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I'm not a fan, its about the song

I’m crap with names; I have trouble remembering the names of people I work with (except Phillippa’s), I even had a girl friend who name I could never remember, while I was seeing her! After 20 years I still have problems with my mother-in-laws name (got it wrong in my wedding speech).
So one day many years ago I’m sat out side of my place of work (wearing a furry bear suit, but that’s another story) listening to 2 girls discussing the suicide of a bar maid from a local pub. It’s strange how you can sit and listen to a conversation like that and feel totally detached, even find it a sort of amusement (not in a funny way, but like watching a soap).
As the conversation moved on I started to think that I knew the girl in question, but only slightly, and so started to pay more attention. It was only after a few more details had emerged, that I realised that it was not the girl I thought, but to be sure I butted in and asked if they knew the girls name.
They did, and at this point the whole day changed, straight away I recognised the name, but as I said I’m crap with names and had to check it was the right person, especially as this girl was always smiling (I can never think of a time that a smile was too far from her lips) and she had a very young son who she thought the world of. But they confirmed it was her. She was an ex girl friend of mine and about the only one that I was ever on good terms with after we broke up, she was the only girl to slap my face, for doing what your supposed to do to get your face slapped (and she packed quite a hit). I remember a time when she had been dumped by her boy friend and was very pregnant and fed up that no one would take her out, so I took her out round the town and we laughed all night watching people faces trying to figure out if it was mine. Even now I cannot picture her face doing anything but smiling.
It seems that she had fallen out with her boyfriend and had driven out to the countryside and gassed her self. She left detailed instruction about the funeral and I held it together up to the moment that they played Elton John’s Candle in the wind, but by that point no one could see me crying because of their own tears.
Still missed.

Now playing: Elton John - Candle In The Wind
via FoxyTunes

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The Giraffe Head Tree said...

Excruciatingly touching, Brett. I've never experienced that sort of angst, thankfully, and can't imagine how you bear it. However, you bear it well.

aims said...

Oh Sweetie. You had mentioned this over on mine and now reading it my heart just hurts for you and for her and her son.

Some smiles will never ever be forgotten.

A beautiful pic for a sad memory.

travelling, but not in love said...

Wow. And you picked a great photo to go with, too.

What an awful thing to overhear... crazy.


My heart goes out to both you and the son - it's awful to lose someone that you know so well in such an excrutiatingly awful manner.

With deepest sympathies alongside the normal ciao,
Scarlet (comforting hugs)

Suburbia said...

Wow. You write so well. What a dreadful waste of life, so sorry. A lovely photo for her.

Caty said...

this picture is absolute poetry

babooshka said...

I agree to not being a fan of the song but it lends itself perfectly to the narrative. Very sad, but you handled the word beautifully and image accordingly.

Viviane said...

I am really bad with names too. The place I did an internship at for the past three months, I was still not sure about some people's names at the end!

Viviane said...

And what a sad story... tragic that a person would feel so hurt to take their life, and for her child who was left without a mother.

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